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I Forgot The Title
Thursday, March 19, 2009 at 04:44PM 
So, yours truly was standing in the greeting card aisle at Dollar General earlier today, wearing a hastily-donned uber-casual outfit accessorized with naught but dark glasses and a scowl, fiercely perusing the $1 birthday cards (those are the expensive ones).
Significantly, I was wearing zero-zilch-nada makeup ... hence the dark glasses. See, as a rule (and not one that was meant for breaking), I never ... let me repeat, never ... appear in public sans cosmetic editing. The only exception is when I walk in my neighborhood for exercise, and that's always after dark.
(Just doing me civic duty, sir. The rationale for this policy is, if you're unable to technically beautify the landscape, at least don't add to the existing eyesores.)
Apparently forgetfulness, like insanity, runs in families.
Also, I aspire to glamour. I will thank you not to snicker.
At any rate, there I stood, dark glasses for anonymity, scowl for the fact that I had neglected to buy my daughter a birthday card when I was out and about on Tuesday.
But that's not all I forgot.
We attend church every Wednesday evening, and occasionally we'll run an errand or two on the way home. Last night I needed to drop off some case-related copying at my agency's downtown office, and stop at the drugstore for the birthday card, which needed to be mailed today in order to reach our daughter on time.
And I forgot both.
The file-dropping-off part I remembered just as we were leaving church ... but of course I'd left the file at home. TG chivalrously deposited me at the domicile, retrieved the materials, and ran the errand for me.
Remind me to thank him again.
The card-buying part I only remembered this morning as I was preparing for a day of transcribing. I had not planned to leave the house today. The mailman comes in the afternoon. Aaaarrrrrrrgh!
So ... the greeting card aisle at Dollar General, this morning. I was dithering over the selections when I saw a pretty card that put me in mind of Erica (not the daughter having a birthday in a few days; that would be Audrey, her sister). Erica adores butterflies as a motif, and this card swarmed with the little suckers.
And, oh, look! It's a birthday card for a special sister!
Suddenly on an impromptu altruistic kill-two-birds-with-one-stone type of mission, I whipped out my cell phone. Still wearing my dark glasses, I looked furtively around while scrolling down to "Erica Desk."
Or so I thought.
Voice, oddly familiar but somehow wrong: "Hello."
Me, sotto voce: "Hey. Have you bought a birthday card for Audrey yet?"
Pause.
Voice, puzzled: "This is Audrey."
Pause.
Me: "Oh."
Voice, mirthless: "Heh heh heh."
Me: "Well, at least you know we're thinking of you."
Of course, she also knows we forgot to buy her a birthday card until the last minute.
And that her mother is picking out her birthday card from her sister, who, as it turns out, forgot too. Apparently forgetfulness, like insanity, runs in families.
At least we remembered which family member was having a birthday!
But I also forgot that we did not have any stamps at home. (TG used them all.)
I hope the postman liked those five dimes enclosed in the ersatz pouch fashioned from tape and a purple index card!
See, I forgot the exact price of one first-class stamp.
I did remember to write "Thank you!" next to the smiley face before I paper-clipped the purple pouch to the stamp-less card.
What's the name of that medicine for the early stages of Alzheimer's?
And why on earth am I telling you all of this?
I honestly forgot.
Jennifer
Just checked the mail ... apparently postage is $.43 ... the mailman left seven pennies in my little decapitated pouch! I meant for him to keep the change ... I'm sick to death of change.
Reader Comments (16)
The name of the medicine is Aricept! I don't think you need it yet though - I think you are pretty normal. Actually - if you need it, I do too!
@ Mari ... I knew you'd know the name of the medicine, LOL! All I could remember was the "A" at the beginning and the "pt" and the end ... but thanks for calling me normal! That may be a first!
...What is that saying? There, but for the grace of God go I? Life is difficult enought without all that remembering birthdays of relatives, other than your children, shebang! LOL x
If you make a "special birthday" quirk out of it, you can pull it off. I give one of my nieces her present every March 18th, after several years where I made a big deal of her b'day that day only to discover it is actually APRIL 18th! I just decided to go with it. We got my step-dad the same b'day card two years in a row, so the third year we did it on purpose. Stuff like that :)
@ Fhina ... you're so right ... I gave up on "other relatives" long ago! Immediate family only! And now I fail at that ...
@ Tracie ... good ideas, but this is my own daughter! I know when her birthday is! I think I just got confused ... it happens every spring!
That's funny. Too bad Audrey didn't play along and pretend to be Erica (or whoever it was she thought YOU thought you were calling). ;-)
@ Kev ... good idea, but oh no, Audrey was having too much fun laughing at my discomfiture!
Hi, thanks for joining my 'followers'-list. I'm honoured and really enjoying your blog. So I'm now going to find out how I can follow yours.
But first I need to tell you this: at one point in my life I worked in a doctor's office. And one of my duties was to answer the phone and write down the repeat recipes people asked for. A woman called and asked for 'that medicine I'm using for my memory'.
'Do you know what it's called?', I asked her.
'No, I forgot', she said.
'So it isn't working then?', I said.
And that marked the end of my career as a doctor's assistent.
Your story reminded me. LOL
@ Carolina ... I know that following your blog will be a pleasure! And your story points up what I already knew: telling the truth can get you in all kinds of trouble! LOLOL
That was really funny...I laughed! Glad I read it at work. See you later!
Welcome to the clan, it would seem, in view of your commenting public! Thanks for visiting and roping me in to your been-there-done-that-got-the-missing-grey-cell world. x
@ Erica ... thanks luv! Looking forward to our walk tonight~!
@ jinksy ... you're missing the grey cell too! What a relief! Misery, it do love company.
Oh my, a kindred spirit. I had an appointment this morning at the local hospital outpatient clinic to have a little mole removed.
I bring my Beagle inside and put her in the utility room. I'm wearing my ugly shoes because I don't want to get mud on the good shoes I'm wearing to the hospital.
I get halfway to the hospital and realize I still have on the muddy shoes. I turn around, change shoes, get back on the road.
I've taken care to put on my make-up as I always do. As you, I NEVER leave home without it.
I have on my white turtleneck, black sweater, black pants, black shoes. All set.
I get into the waiting room, look down and I've got on NAVY BLUE TROUSER SOCKS, will all my black and white ensemble. HORRORS! I must be getting early alzheimers I think.
Oh well, better to tell people about it and laugh with them, than to let them see the navy socks and laugh at me behind my back. So that's what I do.
If I don't make a list, I'm lost. Of course, that means I have to remember the list! hehehe
Have a great weekend.
Debbie
@ Debbie ... sounds like an episode of Wallace and Gromit ... The Wrong Trouser Socks ... LOLOL! Great story! We love Beagies at our house ... outpatient surgery not so much! Thanks for dropping by.
Those $1 cards are getting hard to find. It's rediculous what they are charging for cards these days.
@ Clay ... exactly! Why pay more than $1 for a greeting card? You go anywhere else and pick up a cute card, it's $3.69. No way ...