While we live, we remember

I got this patriotic gnome at Hobby Lobby ... killer legs and all

Apologies for going AWOL for a week. The pirate has been distracted, preoccupied, and ... well. Busy.

A week ago Monday -- May 23rd -- I drove the ninety minutes to Rock Hill, South Carolina, to meet our Stephanie, who was bringing Allissa to me.

Erica and Baby Rhett came along. We met up at a McDonald's on Dave Lyle Boulevard and had a snack before Allissa transferred her belongings from her mother's car to mine, and we set off for home.

Several years ago, each of my tar heel grands spent a week with me in the summer. We hadn't done it this way in quite some time, and I don't think the other two will be coming, so we were all excited.

Baby Rhett in Audrey's arms by the pool on Saturday evening

Upon reaching home and after getting Allissa settled into the upstairs guest room, we welcomed Audrey and Dagny for coffee and cookies. Rain had set in and we sat out on the front porch to enjoy it.

Later, I made barbecued chicken for dinner. We all had generous helpings of salad; TG added a baked potato.

That night Allissa and I sat for hours looking at Ancestry dot com, researching her dad's side of the family. We unearthed some pictures of her relatives and poked around in the past, and it was entertaining.

Tuesday was a big day. We had planned what might be described as an ambitious shopping trip -- we were in search of gifts for two graduations, one person laid up in the hospital after a car accident, a wedding, and two birthdays. 

It slipped from my grasp

Our first stop was Dollar General, where Allissa helped me pick out all of the greeting cards I would need. Father's Day, anniversaries, birthdays, get well, wedding, graduation -- I think I bought at least a dozen cards.

That was exhausting so our next stop was Starbucks. We sat in the window and enjoyed our coffee beverages -- a tall latte for me and a venti something with at least six words in the name, for her. Caramel and whipped cream were involved.

We planned our attack for the rest of the day. It was decided that we'd hit Hobby Lobby first, since we needed to look for one of our birthday gifts there.

(After years of having to drive across town to shop at Hobby Lobby, we now have one a few miles from my house. It is wonderfully convenient.)

I found the beaded star mat at Home Goods last year and the flatware caddy this year

That task accomplished, we put our purchases in the car and walked thirty yards to Dollar Tree for gift bags.

Only, when I got up to the till to pay for my choices, I found that I had lost my wallet.

Well, not a wallet exactly; it is more like a tiny patent-leather envelope just big enough for my driver's license and a few credit cards and some folding money. It snaps shut.

(It's not my proper wallet -- that would be the leather Frye Jenny leather wallet in plum, which I bought in 2016 and which is so ideal that if it ever wears out, I shall endeavor to buy another exactly like it -- but I had downsized my purse to a small clear bag that I like to take shopping because I can see everything that's in it. My Frye Jenny fits inside but it's tight, especially with my Ray-Ban sunglasses case, which is largish but necessary to protect my beloved Jackie Ohh sunnies.)

The clear plastic purse in question

So I'm at the till at Dollar Tree and I realize that it's true what my eyes are telling me as I rummage feverishly: My tiny card-and-cash carrier is NOT in the purse.

I looked at Allissa. Run, I said, back down to Hobby Lobby and see if I left it there. She obeyed.

And even though I knew that wasn't what had happened, I soon followed her. My fears were confirmed: my little wallet was not at Hobby Lobby. It wasn't going to be that easy. I sent Allissa back down to Dollar Tree to look around on the floor for what I'd carelessly lost.

I returned to the car and checked to see if the wallet was in the bag containing my Hobby Lobby purchases. I knew it wasn't but I did it anyway. I was right; it was not.

All you need is love ... and some common sense

In the back of my mind, I knew what had happened. After putting the Hobby Lobby bag into the car, I had walked towards the Dollar Tree. When I got up under the overhang and no longer needed my sunglasses, I had reached inside my purse for the sunglass case.

And that's when I had inadvertently flipped my little wallet out onto the sidewalk.

Only, I did not see it on the sidewalk, although I had walked there twice now: when I ran back down to the Hobby Lobby, and when I returned to the Dollar Tree. I did not stop to inspect every inch, but if it had been there, surely I would have seen it.

I re-entered the Dollar Tree and retraced my steps to the back right-hand corner of the store where I had selected three gift bags.

My wallet was not on the floor. But the strangest thing happened.

It would have been devastating to lose my REAL EYE DEE

Allissa was already there, looking. And although she had not found my wallet, she had found someone else's.

It was a small turquoise leather ladies' fold-over wallet stuffed on both sides with multiple credit cards -- like mine, it was not much bigger than the cards themselves. It had been lying on top of a random Dollar Tree cart full to the top with odds and ends, then left parked by the gift bags.

We were stunned. We have to take this up front, I told Allissa, but my mind was still racing with panic over the whereabouts of my own wallet, stuffed with cards and a considerable amount of folding money.

Back up at the front of the store, still frantically searching for my lost item, holding someone else's lost item, I was about to despair when I heard a female voice.

Our Erica had a birthday on Memorial Day

Ma'am, are you looking for your wallet? A lady was walking towards me, holding my sparkling REAL EYE DEE aloft.

I nearly fainted. Apparently she had found it out on the sidewalk and was wondering what to do, when another lady who had been inside the Dollar Tree and noticed our frantic search, told her that I was still in the store.

She assured me that she had removed only my driver's license from the tiny wallet, and of course she could see that it was me. I was even wearing the same dress as in my picture taken on two twenty-two twenty-two.

I thanked her profusely for being so honest, and we chatted for a moment, and then parted ways.

Only if you have had such an experience can you imagine how profound was my relief. It wasn't so much the loss of the money as of the cards. IYKYK.

My 1957 Chevrolet Bel Air in firecracker red ... I love model cars

(The whole thing reminded me of that day many years ago when I lost my right-hand diamond ring in a cemetery. I'll never forget it.)

Back at the till to pay for my gift bags, I turned over the turquoise folding wallet to the cashier. She just called about it, the young man told me, waving a small piece of paper where he had written her contact information.

I was grateful for the opportunity to help her as someone had helped me.

Still praising the Lord for the return of my important things, but inwardly despising myself for my stupidity in losing them in the first place, I suggested to Allissa that we drive across the parking lot to Marshalls. It was not on our list of destinations, but we did it anyway.

I have a jump on the Fourth of July ... but I'll do more patriotic decorations outside

And I'm glad we did, because it was there that we found a pair of casual summer shoes that she loved, and I bought them for her.

The rest of the day involved shopping at Home Goods, Old Navy, and TJ Maxx. We found almost all of the gifts we needed, plus a few extra things just because.

Our last stop was intended to be the grocery store, but first we needed a cold drink and a snack. We were parched and hungry.

We went to a Circle K where we bought Polar Pop soft drinks. Allissa picked out a bag of chips.

I found some beautiful scented candles at Home Goods

Having kept body and soul together thusly, we went shopping for real food. TG loves taco salad and Allissa was very much in favor of that for the evening meal, so we needed tomatoes and tortilla chips and lettuce and so forth. I like it because it's easy.

In the line to pay for our groceries, the lady behind us made a comment to me and I answered back -- something about prices -- and we were kind of giggling and getting along famously in the moment, as frequently occurs (strangers talk to me ... maybe they can tell I am good at it ... I'll thank you not to sneer).

Then, just as I was paying and was almost on the way out, she thought it prudent to reveal that a shooter had killed fourteen children at a school in Texas that morning.

I'll never forget the moment I heard that news; it will be the same as always remembering (if you're old enough) the day that JFK was assassinated, or the day the towers fell, and the days of other massacres.

I found blue and white, but no red

Stunned with that awful reality, I drove home with my granddaughter and our shopping haul.

We brought in the groceries and started supper and fed Rizzo his afternoon snack and went through all of the motions of eating and doing the dishes and settling in for the evening.

But in the back of my mind that night -- and in the coming days, and even today -- ran the constant thought of what I had lost and found that day, that was of value to me, compared to what the parents and family members of those children had lost and would not find again.

Of course, as the week went on, there was even more loss. The news got worse instead of better. It cast a pall over everything we did because it was never far from our minds -- the endless suffering. The fathomless loss.

This is my semi-homemade macaroni and cheese

I thought, while Allissa and I were busy buying graduation gifts and birthday gifts and a wedding gift, those children and those women were enduring things that we have trouble even imagining.

The children won't have graduations or weddings. No more birthdays. God, please help us. Be with their families and with their friends.

On Wednesday, Allissa and I left in the mid-afternoon for my regular hair appointment (every fifth Wednesday), and she got her bangs trimmed after Alan was done with my hair. In the evening, we went to prayer meeting at church. It had been Dagny's last day of school, so that night she was coming home with us.

(Although they are more than six years apart in age, Dagny and Allissa are best friends and beloved cousins).

This sparkly swag covers all the color bases ... later I added the Happy Birthday banner for Erica

After church, TG and I took the girls to Chick-fil-A for supper. The CFA nearest our house has never reopened its dining room since covid and the takeout line wraps twice around the building and you wait forever, so we went to a location nearer our church where the dining room is open.

(A few days later while out and about, we noticed that "our" Chick-fil-A has been closed for a rebuild and will open again in the fall. I hope we get our dining room back.)

On Thursday, the girls and I had a two-pronged mission: to decorate the kitchen and dining table and ledge with a patriotic theme, and to shop for the groceries we needed for the following Monday's Memorial Day celebration.

It would be Erica's birthday on the same day.

Clancy's chips from Aldi ... we like them

Our decorating accomplished, we set out for Aldi. We love their Clancy's potato chips -- especially the sour cream and onion. We got some of those, plus BBQ and plain.

Then we went to Walmart for the rest of our groceries and a few more gift items.

Back home, with a lowering sky threatening rain, I made spaghetti sauce for that night's supper. We had been in touch with Erica and it was decided we'd all meet up at Starbucks for afternoon coffee.

Once at Starbucks, we ordered and then began enjoying Baby Rhett and our coffee. We'd wanted to sit outside but a cloudburst had left everything more than damp.

Precious Baby Rhett spends a lot of time getting loved on

But Baby Rhett was in hyper-vocalizing mode, ten-month-old version, and at such times he becomes unbelievably shrill. To be honest, it is earsplitting. the Starbucks was full of people sitting on their own, looking at their laptops. I felt badly that we were so noisy.

So we went outside and sat on the wet chairs anyway. It was fine and in fact it was most enjoyable. We just love being together.

In due time Erica headed for home and we girls returned to the house. I turned the stove on low beneath the spaghetti sauce and made the pasta, plus small salads and spicy toast from French bread buttered and sprinkled with a tiny bit of Tony Chachere's Creole Seasoning, then popped under the broiler to brown.

We ate with gusto -- Dagny practically inhaled her plate of spaghetti, one of her favorite meals -- and then while I cleaned the kitchen and sat down for a rest, TG played dominoes with the girls.

The girls and I found this cute summer gnome at Aldi for three forty-nine plus tax

I was in the sun room relaxing in my chair, Rizzo and Sweetness beside me, when I realized (it was dark outside) that TG and the girls had gone out by the pool.

Soon I heard major splashing and realized that the girls had decided to swim. The pool was not strictly ready -- it needed a proper cleaning, which TG would do on Saturday -- but they didn't care.

They must have jumped off the diving board thirty-five times. At least that's what it sounded like; I never went out there as I was too comfortable where I was. Plus I had no desire to get a jump on mosquito bite season.

After a good sleep, it was Friday. Following deliberations via text between ourselves and Aunts Audrey and Erica, it was decided that we would all congregate at Erica's house for the afternoon and evening.

I think my rustic red lantern needs to be dusted

First though, the girls and I returned to Home Goods because I needed some candles.

We arrived at Erica's in the mid afternoon. Allissa brought all of her things because she'd be staying with Erica for the remainder of her visit. Dagny would stay too, at least for that night.

It was hot enough that the girls changed clothes later and played in the sprinkler in the front yard.

Still later that evening, Chad grilled hamburgers. Erica made French fries in the oven, plus a big salad. TG joined us for dinner and had some of the leftover spaghetti (I'd brought it along), along with a hamburger.

Everyone had a wonderful time.

Chad gallantly provided the birthday cake for his wife

On Saturday I stayed home and had a quiet, uneventful day, which to be honest I was craving like babies crave mother's milk. Audrey and Erica took the children to the zoo, then Audrey brought them to our house where they swam again. We ordered pizza. Cherica and Baby Rhett joined us that evening for poolside chatting and relaxing.

On Sunday morning, after not sleeping well at all, I got my wires crossed in such a way that I was truly distressed. Upon waking as I always do without benefit of an alarm, I was under the impression that the time I needed to begin getting ready for Sunday School was nine thirty.

Only, the time I always begin getting ready is eight thirty. It was nine fifty before TG came upstairs where I get ready, wondering if I was all right (we normally leave the house at nine thirty).

And it was only then, as he appeared in the room where I sat at a vanity table in the window applying mascara, that I glimpsed my wall clock and realized what I'd done.

I found these chunky wooden stars with beaded edges at Home Goods last year

I'd slipped a stitch and lost an entire hour. We missed Sunday School. Don't worry; I was lucid for the rest of the day. At least I think I was.

That evening, after church, I made BBQ beans and a Blender Lemon Pie and deviled eggs, all for the next day. Stephanie and Joel and Melanie and Andrew arrived at eleven thirty and it was one o'clock in the morning before we got to bed.

Monday came and I had a new red dress to wear and Henry was coming, and since I'd planned so well, I had very little cooking to do. 

We had grilled hamburgers, hot dogs, and chicken, plus baked beans and semi-homemade macaroni and cheese, and deviled eggs and three kinds of potato chips plus tortilla chips and salsa, and all sorts of soft drinks buried in ice in the big galvanized pail.

We were all there except for our beloved Andrew and Brittany and Ember. They were missed.

Many gnomes have found their home in my home

Before we prayed for our meal which I served at two thirty, we took a moment to remember a few men known personally or nearly personally to us, who died in American wars.

There was First Lieutenant Ryan Davis Rawl, from our community, who was killed on June 20, 2012 in Afghanistan, at the age of thirty. He was a husband and the father of two, and a graduate of The Citadel, TG's alma mater. We attended his funeral on June 30, 2012, and I took many pictures.

There was Sergeant Sandy Hilly Porter, first cousin once removed of our Chad, who died in Vietnam on July 6, 1970, at the age of twenty-one.

There was Wilbur Stephenson, a great-uncle of our Joel's -- the brother of his paternal grandmother -- who was killed while piloting a plane over the English Channel during WWII.

Henry recalled the brother of a Sunday School friend in his youth, whose last name was Van Clay, who was also shot down over the English Channel during that war.

Nothing says summer like decorations with a patriotic theme

TG wept as he prayed for our country, and thanked God for those who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our now beleaguered and much-maligned freedoms.

Then we ate, followed by hours of kids -- and a few adults -- splashing in the pool, and eventually saying goodbye to Henry, and Erica opening her birthday gifts, and later coming inside to the enjoy the scrumptious birthday cake provided by Chad.

Everyone drove away at precisely eight fifteen. Cherica would be home within twenty minutes, as would Audrey and Dagny. The tar heel bunch -- including Allissa, her trip to Columbia at an end -- had close to a three-hour trip ahead of them.

I went to my chair where I stayed for as long as I could remain awake, then washed my face and brushed my teeth and went to bed.

Nor shall their story be forgot

And now it has been eight days, and the children are still gone. It is June, about to be the first summer that they and their teachers will not see. And the sad story continues to unfold.

Everyone looks for solutions. Politicians on both sides use the tragic moment toward their selfish ends. I still believe that faith in our Creator is the answer. I don't care how unpopular that view is; it is the truth. And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free (John 8:32).

May God Bless America, preserve her freedoms, strengthen her patriots, and confound her enemies both foreign and domestic. Especially domestic.

And that is all for now.

=0=0=0=

Happy Wednesday :: Happy June

Comments

[Jeanette]

I am so saddened by the shooting in Texas and my heart breaks for the families of the victims. It's a sad country we live in right now and I pray daily for it. Sounds like you had a wonderful time with your granddaughter and a great weekend! Thank goodness a kind person found and returned your wallet to you! I hear you about being mad at yourself for losing something! I lost my work badge and then found it in the most ridiculous place after stressing about it for a week! Not that it's valuable but it was just the idea that I went completely blank on what I did with it!! Take care my friend! XO

[Mari]

Sounds like a wonderful time with Allysa, training her in the skills of shopping, how to find a wallet, and the ethics of returning one you found. (I do know she has already been trained well in that regard). Such a special time with her and for her to be able to spend time with cousins, aunts and her Grandpa too!
I'm so glad you got your wallet back. Several years ago, I left my purse in a shopping cart after unloading my groceries. I well remember the panic I felt when after a few minutes down the road, I realized what I did. Thankfully, it was still in the cart waiting for me in the parking lot. I couldn't believe it.
I've always thought little Rhett was a good mix of Chad and Erica, but todays pics are showing me a lot of Erica. Funny how you see either parent from time to time.
Those children and teachers. It's just heartbreaking and totally evil. As you know, I agree on the cause.

[Jennifer]

@Jeanette ... Agreed that every detail of that situation is heartbreaking. I have been so underneath it all week. Just crying in my soul for them. God help us. I hear you about drawing a blank, haaaha! xoxo

@Mari ... YES we see Erica from time to time too! He is just his own little self but wow, both sets of genes are strong in that little guy. We had such a good time with Allissa and I can't believe it's over. We looked forward to it for weeks! Speaking of Erica, she once left her iPad in the grocery cart in the parking lot at Kroger! When she went back, someone had found it and turned it in at the courtesy desk. That was CLOSE, haaahhaa xoxo

[betty]

Happy belated birthday to Erica! The food, as always, sounded and looked delicious! I'm glad you had the week with Allissa and got to enjoy that time with her. It looked like you guys did a lot of fun events with the shopping, etc. How "weird" with the 2 lost wallets but glad both got recovered, especially yours! I was at a garage sale a few months back and saw a small little wallet thingy for "sale". I was looking for something like that to hold my license and bank cards in. I happened to realize there was money in there and someone's license. I said to the lady having the sale "are you really selling this wallet?" She said "yes, why?" and then I told her what was in it. Another customer a little while back apparently left it there. She recognized the picture on it as someone who had stopped by the sale. They were able to reconnect to get the wallet back to her.

I think it was neat that you all remembered those who had served and lost their lives in service. That's truly the meaning for Memorial Day, remembering.

Rhett is just so adorably cute. I love his eyes!

Like you, and so many, I was so saddened by the events in Uvalde last week. So many young innocent lives lost. Whenever there is a tragedy like this I always take the time to look at the names and the pictures of those who lost their lives and to read about them. I just can't imagine the horror of it all and how everyone in the town has been affected by this and will be affected by this. Lots of prayers said and will continue to be said. I agree with you too, Jenny. Faith is the answer and returning to God.

And how can it be June already?

betty

[Bijoux]

You visited 4 of my favorite stores in one day: TJ, Marshall’s, Home Goods, Dollar Tree! That was some fine shopping. My husband bought me some beautiful candles at TJ for my birthday. Large with frosted glass. After burning, I plan to use them to hold cotton balls and Q Tips in my new master bath.

I took my mom to visit my Dad’s grave at the beautiful veteran’s cemetery he is buried in. My oldest daughter took her kids a few days later to put flags on his grave and my father-in-law’s who is also buried there, along with another great-grandpa from my son-in-law’s side. We always host Memorial Day here. My husband grilled steak and chicken and made a potato salad. I made a roasted Italian veggie platter and a big strawberry and pumpkin seed lettuce salad. My son made matcha chocolate chip cookies and his wife made a coconut mango taro root pudding.

I think the major issue in our country is the lack of two parent households. The vast majority of all crimes are committed by those without fathers.

[Jennifer]

@Betty ... Wow that's an amazing story about the wallet at the yard sale! How great is that, you finding it and helping to get it back to her! A few hours after our wallet adventure on Tuesday, we were in Home Goods when a lady (kind of rudely, we thought) pushed past us without saying excuse me. It's very crowded in there and it was an awkward moment. Well, a few minutes later we saw her again and she stopped us and said she was sorry, but that she thought she'd left her phone on a shelf! We rejoiced with her that she had not lost her phone and told her no worries. Everyone is frazzled when the temperature starts going up and there are so many activities! But all ended well. Yes our pastor reminded us on Sunday that what all of the fallen would want more than anything is to be remembered. So I took some notes of the few we knew personally or semi-personally and we talked about it before we ate. I felt it was the least we could do! As for Uvalde, I usually look at all the names and pictures too but this time I can hardly bear it yet. Maybe later. I am just so grieved for those people and for what those in the classroom went through. We need the Lord to heal us as only He can. xoxo

@Bijoux ... How wonderful that you went to the national cemetery and laid flags at your relatives' graves. I love to visit national cemeteries and TG and I do that whenever we can. YES the jars that the candles come in are so beautiful and re-usable in so many ways! Stephanie had given me a generous gift card to Home Goods for Mother's Day, and I used that (and more) to buy my candles. I am enjoying them so much. What's great about our shopping trip that day is that we were gone from home for hours but were never more than five miles from my front door! So nice having the Hobby Lobby close by! Your feast sounds spectacular! I would love to have tasted the strawberry and pumpkin seed salad! xoxo

[Lori]

I'm so glad the woman found your wallet and returned it. I know that feeling all too well. I left my purse in a kohl's shopping cart once and luckily found it.
Your celebrations sound wonderful as always. You are so blessed to have a close family.
I have been really down this week about the state of our country myself. It just seems that there is SO much going on everywhere that it is a bit overwhelming. All I can do is pray.

[Jennifer]

@Lori ... YES all we can do is pray. People mock the sentiment "thoughts and prayers" but to me it does not ring hollow as long as we really do think (and not just while these tragic events are in the news, but going forward as well) and pray, and keep on praying. Of course the other thing we can do is instill in our children the enduring values (based on truth) that tend to life, rather than to death. But you are right: it is overwhelming. We must not be weary in well-doing. God has already written the final chapter and in it He is triumphant and so are those who love and trust Him. I'm so glad you found the purse you left in the Kohl's shopping cart, haha xoxo

[Carla TePaske]

Hello Jenny,
Another great post. I am so happy you found your wallet and all was in it that was suppose to be. ;-) And that you helped another person find their missing wallet.

Your gatherings always make me smile and hungry.

I agree with you, turning back to our roots, Faith and Family, that is what built this nation, and that is the answer. I appreciated your last words.
Carla

[Jennifer]

@Carla ... thanks friend. Love you xoxo

[Barb]

I can feel your zing of adrenalin when you realized that your wallet was missing. It's so strange that before yours was returned another lost wallet was found. Happy Birthday to Erica. Another wonderful celebration. The tragedy in Texas weighs heavily on the heart. All those innocent souls lost. School should be a safe place, but I don't believe that in today's world there is anywhere truly safe. There are too many wayward, angry people. Some days, Bob and I think we just can't understand anymore the way the world in general and our country in particular seems heading on a path of evil.

[Donna G]

A wonderful time with family, as you always have, but this time underlaid with sorrow for precious lives gone. I agree with you, people need the Lord.

[Jennifer]

@Barb ... Girl that was truly the kind of adrenaline I didn't really want to experience that day or any day, haaaha! It was awful. I am so grateful for the positive outcome. Yes we are grieved daily by the memory of what those poor children went through. It is hard to understand. I have many opinions on this subject but now is not the time and here is not the place. xoxo

@Donna G ... Amen my friend. So much sorrow and so much need. I hope you're having a good week. xoxo

[Mari-Nanci]

I did a post on "Violence In America."

It was a copy of Bill O'Reilly's words.

With all the *News*, I am reminded of The Fall of Rome.....

We don't have long, to get our Beloved Country, back on the right track.

Gentle hugs,
Mari-Nanci
🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼

[Jennifer]

@Mari-Nanci ... I commented on that post xoxo