Shock and .... awww.
So here's the deal.
As parents we always, one hundred percent of the time, want what's best for our children.
If you are a parent, you know exactly what I mean.
We don't want anything to hurt them. We don't want anyone to hurt them or ill-use them or mislead or mistreat them. We want to protect them from all of the potential harm that exists in the world.
There are moments when, if we could, we would protect them even from themselves.
As in, we wish our children could be spared the worst of needless heartache resulting from their inevitable mistakes.
Of course that's unrealistic, but we wish it anyway.
So we make every attempt to -- as they are growing and maturing -- cover all our bases. We teach and talk and instruct, caution and warn, correct and guide.
We provide our children with ample horror stories anecdotal evidence to justify our many directives, dictums, and demands.
And we pray for them, that in moments of weakness, they will remember the things we taught them for their own good, to help them make wise choices.
Later, when they are grown, we continue to encourage and pray for them, that they will be safe and stand strong.
But sometimes, despite all our efforts, something goes wrong. Sometimes without warning, we're obligated to process news both unwelcome and unexpected, and to deal with situations so shocking and upsetting, they are all but unthinkable.
That's what happened to TG and me last year, on the day after Thanksgiving.
That was the day we learned that our beloved daughter Audrey was expecting a baby.
I know a lot of people wouldn't consider that sort of news to be cause for any particular alarm. What's one more single mother, one more fatherless child? They're a dime a dozen. Society attaches little or no stigma to these individuals, even less to the behavior that leads to their existence.
But we are not those people. We wanted better for our daughter and better for her children.
Her father and I were unaware that our precious girl had become involved with someone. There had been and would be no wedding.
But there was a baby. Our fourth grandchild. A tiny innocent baby whose father wants nothing to do -- now -- with our daughter, or with his child, ever.
And I am being as honest with you, my cherished readers, as I know how to be, when I say that all of this was a tough pill to swallow last year, on the day after Thanksgiving.
Christmastime commencing, and a family crisis. A tragi-scandal in the offing. A heartbreaking set of circumstances that set each one of us back for many days.
A sweet and tenderhearted daughter who had suffered so much in the dark weeks during which she shouldered her burden alone, dreading the moment she would have no choice but to disappoint her family.
Audrey was devastated and appalled, embarrassed and chagrined.
But she was something else as well: She was instantly forgiven.
Both by God and by her family.
In fact when we learned the news, her father and I said basically the same things to Audrey:
We love you unconditionally, forever. You are our beautiful, irreplaceable daughter and we will stand beside you no matter what. Everybody does wrong and everyone makes mistakes. We have all sinned; we have all at one time or another made poor choices, disappointed ourselves and those who love us. We all have feet of clay; God knows our frame and remembers that we are dust. Everything is going to be all right.
Or words to that effect.
It was decided that we would not grieve or pine for things to be different, when different was not possible. We would move forward and together, looking to the Lord for guidance, we would remain positive and happy.
And from the very beginning we counseled our daughter to forgive herself, and to resist the dreadful weight of guilt. Because where sin abounded, grace did much more abound. We are all -- every one -- sinners in need of mercy and grace.
I wanted my daughter -- who, since she was a young teenager, has wanted to be a mother -- to be happy and serene throughout her pregnancy, for the sake of her baby. And although there have been difficult days, she has done that.
On a practical level, we began coordinating Audrey's move to Columbia, where she now lives. Near us.
Her baby is due on TG's and my thirty-fifth wedding anniversary: June sixteenth. Next Monday. Five days (or less) to wait.
And we are overjoyed.
Friends and family members have been overwhelmingly kind and generous. I am grateful to all of those (you know who you are) who have been so very supportive and whose encouragement has been immeasurably important to my daughter.
I thank each one who has, with tears in their eyes, told me: She will find no judgment here. None whatsoever.
I thank our pastor and his wife for their love and prayers.
I thank all of those whose thoughtful and beautiful gifts have gladdened Audrey's heart.
To my four children and my son-in-law I would like to say: Your dad and I believe ourselves to be among the most blessed parents in the world. The ways in which you have all pulled together during the past several months has been inspiring indeed.
You are as fortunate to have one another as we are to have you.
To my adored readers I would like to say: Stay tuned for pictures -- any day -- of the darling little one whose arrival we await with gratitude and thanksgiving. And lots of excitement.
Some dreams don't come true. Some dreams die. But now there are newborn dreams.
And that is all for now.
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Happy Wednesday
Reader Comments (9)
I read this post with tears in my eyes - happy tears for the love, grace and joy in this post. I can't wait to hear of the birth of this sweet baby, and hear of the joy this baby will bring to each one of you.
Jenny...you are an awesome mother and you and TG have raised awesome children with God's help. I know that Audrey will also be an awesome mother to this precious little baby. She is in my prayers as are all of you.
G.
Being a mom is the best job in the world, loving a child is a gift we do not cherish enough, so I know that Audrey will realize that with the wonderful support she has received. God bless you all,but then he already has.
We have been in a similar situation, twice. It is hard to see the end when you are at the beginning, but loving will see us all through. One of ours turned out to be the biggest blessing we have ever received. The other was lost, which was a reprieve and a lesson learned. Parenting will never be easy, and I am glad that you have all been such a support to Audrey. I understand her heartbreak and yours, and I am so happy that her baby will be born into such a loving family.
You handled this news exactly as I would have expected you and your sweet hubby to react. You have a very special family and I know this new baby will be a blessing to you all.
Oh Miss Jenny....SORRY to be late but Larry's Mom is back in the hospital and we've been running around like crazies!
WHAT WONDERFUL NEWS!!! A BABY! A NEW LIFE! This was much needed news for me. I know you might have been a little surprised but...stuff happens. SO, as my daughter would say, Suck It Up Buttercup!Hahaaaa
Oh Jennygirl...a brand spanking new life...God puts us where we are needed, He's smart like that isn't He??Hahaaa.......and that new little life is right where it's suppose to be! With Audrey and all of You! What joy...now.....here's the deal....Donna if it's a girl, Don if it's a boy....You might have to talk Audrey "around" to it but I think she'll do it....???Hahahaaa
I Love You....Can't wait for all those photos!!!!!
((((HUG)))))
What a precious post- what an awesome God we serve and what a beautiful example demonstrated in this story. God knows how to make all things beautiful.
Most times in the poorest of choices, miracles happen. You all truly are a beautiful loving family. Unconditional love is becoming a rarity these days. Asshats like that come and go but in the future the door will open for someone that comes in and will cherish them as much as God will allow him to. Oh this gave me chills. Yes, I was married to "my asshat" but look at it this way...by him not sticking around she just saved herself and her daughter a lifetime of bad memories and feelings. I bet if shes anything like her momma she will rise above this and be stronger for it. Yes, its a hard journey but a doable one. Many prayers and happy memories will be with yall all while going thru this!!! And yes, I bet it was a shock to yall and it is so awesome that you all can adapt as the world changes. Life is always changing. Im glad she has parents similar to my own that will love her no matter what. Yall are all amazing people;)
I can't image better parents to "have" to share. You are amazing, as is Mr. W. What a beautiful daughter and beautiful baby and what a wonderful family you all are. I love you. ALL. So happy to know you. xoxo . i want to send a present :)